Not a lot to talk about. Had the first day of Obs and Gynae lectures today which was kinda overwhelming. There was just so much content, and it’s all new.
Mood wise I’m back on 150mg regularly and stable. Have a GP appointment on Friday where I think I’ll discuss going back down again maybe.
Relationship is going well. Generally things are pretty good.
Just ate half an easter egg and now I feel a tad bit queasy. Think I’m gonna go lie down.
Krista and Tatiana Hogan are craniopagus twins, meaning they’re connected at the head.
They share a structure that connects Krista’s thalamus to Tatiana’s. The thalamus is a double-lobed organ that plays important roles in processing sensory input and creating consciousness.
Since Krista’s and Tatiana’s thalami are connected, scientists and members of the Hogan family think the girls might view the world differently than the rest of us do.
For example, Dr. Cochrane believes the girls can see through each other’s eyes. He came to this conclusion after covering Krista’s eyes, placing electrodes on her head, and watched Krista’s brain respond after shining a light in Tatiana’s pupils.
Other times, one girl will be watching TV while the other is looking somewhere else. Suddenly, the twin not watching TV will start laughing at what’s happening onscreen.
Their “thalamic bridge” also affects their sense of taste. Krista is a ketchup fiend, but Tatiana hates the stuff. Once, Krista was eating ketchup, and Tatiana furiously tried to wipe it off her own tongue even though she wasn’t eating any ketchup herself.
Perhaps the strangest phenomenon of all is that the twins sometimes use the word “I” to describe both of themselves at once.
As of 2011, no one had run any conclusive tests on the girls and their odd condition. However, scientists who have observed their behavior and brain scans are flabbergasted and excited. While no one can say for sure at the moment, it really does seem Krista and Tatiana can share private thoughts and perceive what the other is sensing.
As someone who wants to study consciousness in the future, I can say this is one of the most extraordinary cases I have ever heard of.
Normal, down, normal down.
It’s all good. The block is finished, everything has been handed in, I’m completely free for the Easter weekend. Like, I can’t think of anything I actually need to do right now. It’s very liberating.
Went out with M for lunch yesterday which was nice. It’s a whole FOUR days til I see him again, I’m not sure how we’re going to handle it.
Anyway, I’m just tidying my room and then I’m going to head home. Sister is back from Spain so I’ll get to see her. Parents are back from (their completely separate holiday to) Spain tomorrow afternoon.
Listening to music from the boyfriend’s band for the first time. I’m actually quite nervous, even though they are very good.
I’ve been very absent from my blog lately. Don’t have internet in my outblock. Busy. New relationship. But also I just can’t be fucking arsed.
I realised too late that I was slipping, and even though I’ve gone back up to 150mg for the past few days, it isn’t working. Was meant to be going out with an ambulance crew today, didn’t go. Was meant to finish my portfolio today, haven’t. I don’t want to write, or draw, or watch TV, just completely flat and hate everything.
Also I have lost my appetite, and want to sleep all the time (which is probably better than never sleeping). Been creeping round the house all day trying to avoid bumping into my housemate (successfully).
The moral of the story is that it never gets better.
It’s really irritating because I was genuinely doing ok on 100mg and my life is objectively going great at the moment so I can’t see any exogenous reason for feeling sad. Which puts me right at the endogenous end of the depression spectrum. This is ok because it’s easy to treat with anti depressants (less need for talking therapies) but it makes me more likely to relapse so maybe I’ll have to stay on 150mg forever. I suppose I’m ok with that.
Imagine stabbing someone with this knife.
It would instantly cauterize the would, so the person wouldn’t bleed, so it’s not very useful.
if you want information it is
and above, in order, we see a gryffindor, a ravenclaw, and a slytherin
why would you stab a PERSON when you can have TOAST?
There’s the hufflepuff
In it the following things happened:
My parents got divorced (amicably) and moved out of our house.
I had an actual manic episode and was being a total bitch to everyone. We were staying in some weird new accommodation due to the divorce and it was really communal. I sprayed water at someone’s computer for no reason, and then had to give them my tv as a replacement screen. Everyone around me was really nice though, helping me out.
Somehow I upset M and he was in a mood and I tried waaaaay too hard to make him like me again. There was also a weird bit where I watched him jump from a first storey window to the ground with surprising grace. According to a friend he was pissed off that I had such a good (but entirely platonic) relationship with my clinical partner. This makes no sense irl because they get on well. Also this is entirely out of character for M but is probably me being subconsciously insecure.
I had two lesbian experiences. One with a girl I can barely tolerate, the other with an “experienced lesbian” who irl is married to a man and has a child.
None of this makes any sense. I was so relieved to wake up from it!
Not having reliable internet has put me out of practice of uploading. I’m at the hospital (with wifi, sweet glorious wifi) waiting for the doc who took over my bsc project to come meet me and give me data and stuff. It’s a drag on a Friday afternoon.
Relationship going well. Stayed at his last night. Only had about half an hour at home today before needing to leave to come to teaching. Want to go home and sit in my pjs watching True Detective.
So relationship good. I’m away again this weekend visiting family so it’s a bit of a pain as we hardly see each other being on different placements in different towns, so probably not til next week.
Not much else happening. I started reading 1Q84 which is exciting as it’s been aaaaages since I read any Murakami and I’m only a couple if chapters in and already loving it. So that’s fun. I actually was going to read Dance Dance Dance but turns out my dodgy copy I got a friend to download is in Turkish or something so I’m going to have to bite the bullet and buy it. Shock horror. (Disclaimer: I do in fact tend to buy books legally, but I wanted to try a Murakami before committing and he downloaded a bunch…)
Boop boop. Going to get on with some work.
Every Now and Then
“Every now and then I would feel a violent stab of loneliness. The very water I drank, the very air I breathed, would feel like long, sharp needles. The pages of a book in my hands would take on the threatening metallic gleam of razor blades. I could hear the roots of loneliness creeping through me when the world was hushed at four o’clock in the morning.”
—Haruki Murakami, The Wind-up Bird Chronicle
So the phone call earlier was because the poster had been accepted for an international presentation and that I’m second author of it and the subsequent paper. Which is epic because second authors get points (well, a point) on foundation applications. Yay.
There has apparently been some inter user differences between the two of us on the data analysis, so the result is that I’m going to reanalyse them. Need to take my laptop to the hospital with me when we go to teaching on Friday so my supervisor can install the programme, then I’ll pop back after teaching to get the data and for a refresher course on how to do the analysis.
Last year still brings up some seriously fucked up thoughts, but this is a really good outcome. The main down side is that I don’t get to go to America to present it with her, but it’s still as exciting as.
if you close your eyes
does it almost feel like
nothing changed at all?
Hi. I am a 22 year old 4th year medic in the UK.
Formerly clinically depressed.
Current block: geriatrics
Names and things are all anonymised. Stories may be slightly edited in the name of of secrecy and humour.
Ask box always open.